I am a babylost mother.  If you are reading this, I suspect you may be as well.  I am so sorry that we both know the dark achings of a mourning mother’s heart.  My son, William Scott, was stillborn alongside his thriving and healthy twin sister, Abigail Hope, in April of 2010. 

In August of 2009, I was elated to find myself pregnant with twins from our first (and, knowingly, only) IVF cycle.  It was a dream come true…though I knew I was in for a challenge due to my history of pregnancy complications.  And this pregnancy was extremely complicated.  I developed a subchorionic hematoma (bleed from the placenta) in September and stayed on bedrest for 6 weeks while it healed.  I struggled with hyperemesis and weight gain.  And my darn irritable uterus reared it’s, well, irritable head again starting 14 weeks.  I thought that my biggest struggle in the pregnancy was preventing pre-term labor of these twin bobbins, who we discovered were a boy and a girl. 

I was wrong. 

On January 12, 2010, at 24.5 week regular perinatologist appointment, we learned the devastating news that our baby boy, Will, had died.  Abby, our girl, was hanging in there but at risk for complications due to losing her twin.   It was terrifying.  Despite continued preterm labor and hospitalizations, I was able to carry Will and a healthy Abby to 37 weeks.  Abigail Hope is our living miracle.

I blogged throughout the loss of Will and continue to blog about the randomness of grief.  I found so much healing in putting words to my pain…I hope you might find the same in your own writing.

Losing a twin in late pregnancy and continuing to carry the other is not a common experience, and I yearned to learn more about others’ experiences while waiting for Abby to come.  It is my hope that I can be a resource for others in this situation as well as the keeper of stories like mine.