Just Breathe

Mark is back.

I managed not go completely certifiable while he was away.

I was nearly there toward the last few hours though.  Nearly.  He was supposed to be home around 5-ish…BUT the airlines lost his bag.  Sam danced in rocket ship circles around the living room, randomly launching himself from furniture, the dog…me.  Abby sniveled near my legs wanting to be held only to arch her back and reach for some far-removed object once she was in my arms.

All the while I raced around the house putting laundry away, dusting forgotten picture frames, and attempting to simultaneously finish every spring-cleaning project I started while he was away.  The dog barked and pleaded to be walked, only to stand outside, take long and cleansing breaths of the frigid evening air, lift his leg to every bush in the yard, and then happily root around the grass for small truffles of rabbit poo.

Meanwhile, Abby was pressed up against the sliding glass door crying in desperation as if I had left her forever while Sam continued to rocket ship blast into clean piles of laundry.

It was about now that I think I started to feel my grip of sanity lesson.  The little blood vessels dilated in my eyes to the point where they began to interfere with my vision.  I started seeing little sparkly stars and wavy lines.  My blood pumped in my ears like the obnoxious stereo of my downstairs neighbors in college.  Thump…thump…thump….dunga…dun…DUN!

Mark called to update me on his progress.

“Home now,” is all I remember saying, though maybe there was a tad more coherence?

Mark walked in the door and was tackled by rocketboy, the dog and Abby.  I stayed by the sink rinsing dishes and taking deep breaths as I was still trying to keep myself from, well, completely freaking out and doing whatever that might entail (pretty sure it would’ve entailed a LOT of screaming, breaking things, locking the dog out of the house, and nonsense talk).

Mark gave the kids spin-around rides and tickled them and kissed them and wrestled with Sam and took the dog for a nice, long walk.  He marveled at how much taller Sam seemed in just a week and Abby’s new tooth she ‘grew’.  We showed off Abby’s new tricks:  clapping to music, raising her arms to ‘so big’, and saying ‘mama’ again (she’s said it for a while, but then she stopped).    And, out of nowhere, she decided to say ‘dada’ for the first time.  I know, sounds too cheesy to be true…but it is.  Sadly, Sam is heartbroken that she has not said, ‘Sam-Sam’ as of yet.

As the evening passed, I felt my shoulders begin to relax, my jaw unclench, and my breathing to get deeper and calmer.  The weight of family was placed back between the both of us again.  I am so fortunate to have Mark to help carry the weight of these wonderful and exhausting kids.  I could finally take a deep breath again, after six days and nights.

Funny thing is, I hadn’t realized I wasn’t really breathing all that time.

* * * *

OK…

Haven’t posted a pic of Abby in a while.  Here’s a quickie photo shoot I did yesterday.  And also Sam a week or so ago with some serious bedhead issues.  I feel like I’m getting my mojo back with the camera again.

Now, if I could only find the time and unlimited photography budget…