(Pregnancy mentioned)

Have you ever updated your blog in your head and then forgotten that you didn’t ACTUALLY update your blog?

Anyhoo…

Had my big first u/s yesterday.  I was a nervous wreck.  In the days preceding this big u/s, I started to get more and more anxious about what the results would bring.   Of course, worst case scenarios played about…

ectopic pregnancy?

blighted ovum?

missed miscarriage?

I mentioned to my hubby a few nights ago that I was nervous about this u/s.  He was like “Why?  You’re pregnant now.”  Yeah, guys don’t get it.

So I nervously drove to meet my hubby at work and then let hubby drive the rest of the way because I could almost not concentrate on the road.  We only sat in the office for a few minutes when we were called to go back to the u/s room.  I disrobed waist down, put on the paper sheet and sat swinging my feet, while my son ate animal crackers, and my hubby read a People magazine.

Casually!  Reading a people magazine!

So we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  My son got bored and started to tinker around with the room’s many expensive and easily (I assume) breakable gadgets while I shot darts in my hubby’s directions while he continued to read about Paris Hilton or Kate Gosslin or whatnot.

Then my son (and I’m not sure if this is hilarious, or sad or just demonstrative) wanted me to actually put my feet up in the stirrups.  Yes, this kid actually KNOWS the purpose of a stirrup.  By then I thought my heart would just pop out of my chest, and yet the doctor still did not come in.  Nurse pops her head in and says that Dr. Nice is running long in his consult and will be with us soon.  Informed my hubby he needed to can the magazine and tend to the child.

Attempted to appear calm.

Finally Dr. Nice comes in with his usual congenial manner and tells us, “We’re going to learn a lot today.”  Then he puts in the ‘magic wand’ and starts looking around.  And we wait.  And wait.  And wait.  And by now Dr. Nice starts seeming less congenial and gets a furrow on his forehead as he’s concentrating on the blurry u/s screen.

And internally I’m FREAKING out.   But externally I’m just lying there waiting for that familiar black dot to appear on the screen.  Dr. Nice informs me that my uterus position (“axial” which is mostly like latin for “messed up”) is such that he can’t get a clear picture.

Yeah, this uterus has never really been all that cooperative.

And then he sees it, a little grey dot he calls the ‘gestational sac’ with a little yolk sac off to the top.  Breathe, Eve, breathe.  He measures it and then tries to search around some more to ’see what he can see’.

So he tells us, “One for now.”  But that he couldn’t see all of my uterus, so he can’t guarantee us that it’s just one.  We go back next Friday hopefully to see the heartbeat (oh please) and to go exploring again for any other potential surprises.

I left the office so shaken from the whole experience that it took me until today to realize:  I have one precious baby inside me!   We will cross the bridge of ‘more’ if we get there.

But for now, ONE is perfect.