I drove my mom to the airport today so she could fly far, far away home (sniff, sniff). It was a long morning, starting at 5:30 AM, when my son woke me up to go potty (him, not me). I’m not complaining about that, by the way, this kid may have been a lot of trouble to get cooking and to STAY cooking (I had severe pre-term labor with him), but my payback has been potty-training. He’s a flippin’ wunderkind with it! Anyway, stood in the shower by 6 AM, just letting the hot water hit my face. Skipped the mandatory follicle-check-leg-shave because the room is really dark and they never even touch my legs anyway. And left for my THIRD follie-check appointment in 3 days.
It’s a 45 minute drive to the RE, that’s when it’s not rush hour. My mom came for her visit on Friday, so out of the 6 days she was here, 3 of them were spent traveling back and forth with me to the RE. Thankfully, she didn’t care…and she watched my son while I went to my appointments (not in the lobby, I’m not a fan of bringing kids into the RE’s office, I think it’s just mean). She says she didn’t care that most of her visit was taken up with all this TTC junk, and I hope she was telling the truth. Like I’ve mentioned on here before, my mom was an IFer, too.
So, I get back to the RE lobby, and pick up the same magazine I was reading yesterday so I can finish the article on ‘Dressing to Look 10 Pounds Lighter’. See I only got about half-way through yesterday, leaving me 5 pounds leaner at best, but was surprisingly called back right away. I got the MEAN u/s tech today…big bummer. Maybe she needs a hug. When I winced as she poked around with the magic wand like she was driving a stick shift for the Daytona 500, she said, “Well, it’s because your uterus goes straight back”.
So sorry that my naughty uterus is interfering with your day.
I think the next time I go in, if I get her, I’m going to give her an enormous bear hug! And maybe a smooch on the cheek (after my magic wand prodding, of course). Lonely, bitter people sometimes just need that.
Anyway, talked to my super-nice nurse who said my follicles FINALLY look like we’re in business. One is completely mature, and one not quite. We’ve got a 21mm and 17mm. So I trigger tonight, and there’s nothing that makes me happier than giving myself a stomach shot. But I really shouldn’t complain, because I’m on Ovidrel now and that’s infinitely better than the Novarell IM’s I used to do. Ovidrel is sub-Q. Pinch the ample supply of available skin on my belly, stick and push. Easy as that.
So I left the office feeling good, not really optimistic per se, but good. I’m past optimistic. Optimistic is what you are the first few months of your first round of TTC. How should I explain how I feel about my chances now? Sort of like watching the recent Superbowl between the Cardinals and Steelers, I had a vested interest in watching Kurt Warner win another Superbowl, but I refused to let myself get too excited either way. That is, until the Cardinals got a touchdown with only, what, like 5 minutes to go, to which the Steelers came back and scored AGAIN to take the lead with only a minute or so. Well, I ended up leaving my hubby to watch the post-game interviews by himself while I pouted upstairs. Yeah, that’s how I feel about getting preggo: resistant to excitement, cave, and then pout unabashedly for days. See, my ovarian follicles might be mature, but I’m pretty sure emotionally speaking, I’m a like 12 mm at best.
So after my RE appointment, I had to drop my mom off at the airport. We kept telling my son that grandma (whom he called ‘papa’ the whole visit because he think that’s the collective term for ‘grandparent’) was leaving, but who knows what 2 year olds understand? Gave my mom and kiss and hug off she went to the baggage check. I never know how much I miss my mom until we leave from a visit. My son cried for ‘papa’ the whole ride home.
And maybe I did a little too.
* * * * * *
IComWeLeav-ers! Welcome! Make sure to leave me your URL so I can visit you too. I’ve had a heckuva time getting back with all my visitors with my mom’s visit, but I’ll be on top of my game starting tomorrow. Here’s a new question of the day?
How do (or did you) deal with hope in the 2 ww? Sour like me? Unrestrainedly optimistic? Come on, spill it!!!!
13 comments
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February 25, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Ann Z
“poked around with the magic wand like she was driving a stick shift for the Daytona 500.” Hah! Well hooray for one mature and one almost mature follicle! I’ve only done the Novarell injections (well, I made my husband do them – speaking of (im)mature: the last IUI we did – our third – my husband gave me the IM shot in the behind, and I turned and said, “you’re done, I didn’t feel it go in or out!” He told me that this was the ONLY occasion he ever wanted me to say those words while bent over with my pants around my ankles. As you say, if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry.)
My 2ww is a lot like yours – pretending not to care at all, while secretly calculating due dates, and then pretending I’m not surprised by a negative while not so secretly crying.
February 25, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Ali
Yay for at least 1 good follie…can we name it? What did they say about BetterBe?
And, I’m jealous about the subcut trigger…I will always remember the day hubby gave me the IM trigger since that was my 1st IM shot.
Good luck and have fun TTC the next couple of days!
February 25, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Kari
I hope this month brings you the elusive BFP! And that Betterbe is gone!
February 25, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Jo
I am definitely a lot like you — very reluctant to hope, finally do, then pout when it doesn’t work out.
Here’s hoping it DOES work out for you this time!
February 25, 2009 at 9:41 pm
onepinkline
I find hope to be a fickle friend. Drops by to hang out during the 2ww, gets you all excited then makes other plans and leaves you picking up the pieces all alone. I triggered today too. Haven’t quite figured out where hope fits in this cycle. Time will tell I suppose.
February 25, 2009 at 11:28 pm
babysmiling
If you’d like 30 other people’s approaches to hope in addition to my own, see the relevant Thoughtful Thursday from earlier this month.
http://babysmiling.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/hope/
Except for the current IUI, I usually have a once bitten-twice shy attitude.
February 26, 2009 at 1:39 am
KandiB
Maybe its a good thing your mom went to your appointments with you. She got a tiny picture of all that IF treatments entail (although you mention she’s an IF’r too). Sometimes I wish our friends and family could just get a small picture of all that it takes. Even our hubbies don’t truly get a good picture.
I’d be careful about kissing your crabby nurse. She might get the wrong idea…after all, she is all up in your biz! here from ICLW
February 26, 2009 at 6:37 am
bubbledragon
Hi there!
Just had my IUI yesterday, so I’m firmly in the two week wait now. I tend to be fine until about the last three days. Of course by that point, I’ve already gotten my pre-AF zit and accompanying migraine, so generally it’s like I kid myself until AF comes around. I do play the whole – can’t be too pessimistic, hope for the best, but don’t get your hopes up too high because it’ll crush you when it ends, etc.
February 26, 2009 at 7:52 am
KimboSue
BOO to mean nurses and u/s techs. I totally think you should hug her, but do it BEFORE the wanding…otherwise she might think you are trying to thank her for the wanding….
I HEART Ovidrel too! Love that it’s pre-filled!
I was a nervous wreck during the 2WW’s. Of course I Dr. Google’d myself to death with possible symptom sightings. The last one was the only one I was brave enough to not POAS before the blood test.
February 26, 2009 at 8:13 am
Shinejil
My 2ww strategy (aka “easier said than done”):
-no symptoms analysis
-DISTRACTION! Bad TV! Good books! Friends! Other people’s blogs! Projects!
-no Googling
-no POAS
-one or two good meltdowns, just to keep things fun. Maybe a good guilt trip, if the husband doesn’t seem to share my misery enough.
-no deprivation of the few things I can enjoy (i.e. cheesecake, hikes, etc.)
February 26, 2009 at 9:24 am
Eve
Thanks for all the strategies, ladies! It sounds like I’m in good company trying to supress hope for the sake of sanity (however poor of a job I do at it).
February 26, 2009 at 9:38 am
KimboSue
P.S. I nominated you for an award on my bloggy…
February 26, 2009 at 9:40 am
awakeintheworld
Aww. I just saw my mom, too. I miss her like craziness, also.
As I am in the longest “taking a break” ever, I got nothin’ for you on the 2ww. Sorry.