We all had a mom once upon a time…

…and those of us who are lucky STILL have our moms and get to have a relationship with them.

That is the case with me.  I have a mom, she lives about 1,000 miles from me, which some people think sounds great and some people think sounds horrible.   When I first got married, living far away was great.  The older I get, the further away it seems…especially now that we have our son.  Which brings me to point of this post:

My mom just called and said that she got a plane ticket to come visit THIS Friday.  As in the 19th.  As in 3 days away.  Whoa.  Seems like she’s been missing her grandson (haven’t seen each other since September) and this was the only time she could come in the next several months.  Whoa.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super excited to see my mom, but my house is not what I would consider to be in, shall we say, a ’guest friendly’ state.  That’s a nice way of saying that the house is a mess, and the guest bed in the basement is covered with laundry and random kid toys.  Whoa.  And here’s the real kicker:  I go to the RE next Monday (the heart of my mom’s visit) to get my follies checked for triggering.  In plain English that means:  I’ll be Oing during my mom’s visit.

So, when my mom asked, “Is this a good time for you?” I had a bit of a crisis.  I want to see my mom, and more importantly, I want my son to see my mom.  I want to show off all his new little tricks, you know?    I never thought I would want a ‘hovering’ mother, which I’ve never had (so that’s good), but I do get envious of my friends who get to drop off their kids at the grandparents while they go out to dinner, or away for the weekend, or to the flippin’ car dealership.   So, I said without hesitation, “No!  This is a ggggggreat (think Tony the Tiger) time!”.

I also haven’t told my mom about my recent bad news at the RE.   Just didn’t really feel like phone-chatting about it.  I figured I’d tell her once I got my response back from Clomid at the RE this Monday.  Now my mom will be HERE for the appointment.  I guess that’s a  blessing, especially if I get bad news.  Not that I have the kind of relationship where I weep uncontrollably on my mom’s shoulders (um, we just don’t DO that), but I’ll get support.

My mom raised me to be very independent from her.  We don’t talk every day or wear matching sweaters at Christmas.  We don’t send each other silly little e-mails or Hallmark cards ad nauseam.  It’s how I’ve always known it, and it’s what works for us.  We talk once a week, twice maybe, and have very pleasant conversations.

But the one way that I feel I connect the most with my mom (especially before I  had my son) is through my infertility.  See, once upon a time she had infertility too.  My mom got married at 19 and started trying to have kids right away.  Five years later my parents finally had my older brother.  A few months after having my brother, my parents were pleased as punch to find out they were pregnant again, hence my sister.  Fast forward 5 long years later and little ol’ me came bouncing in.  My mom actually was taking Clomid to get preggo, got cysts, went off Clomid to get rid of the cysts and got me instead.

So, she gets it.  And, the more I talk with IFers whose mother’s DON’T get it, the luckier I feel.  Unfortunately, the unlucky part is being in a family were infertility runs rampant.  My mom struggled, my aunt ‘mysteriously’ only had two children despite a full devotion to the Catholic church, both of my aunt’s girls have been unable to conceive, and my only other female cousin on my mom’s side had to have IVF to have her children.  Sucks to be us.

All except my sister, who got preggo super easy both times.   Um, no fair.

So I guess we’ll see what comes of my visit on Monday.  Still thinking cycle cancellation here.  And maybe God has been listening just a little to my prayers of late to bring me peace, and that is why my mom is visiting at the last minute.  Either that or my sister sent her a link to my blog.

When it comes down to it, we all need our Mommies sometimes, right?

Well, I do at least.

 

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How much do you ladies talk with your mothers/families about your IF?  Are they supportive or pushy?  Do they try to say the right things and end up hurting your feelings instead?  Inquiring minds want to know!  Comment away, my friends!